Before we get lost in the blink of an eye.

I am, perhaps, depressed a little. And Kind of lonely with the way things have turned out lately. Tomorrow, Im going on an adventure where i can think some, and maybe get my academic homework shit together.

My job isn’t everything it turned out to be. Less cool, by kind of a lot. Mainly, Im just really fucking tired of being nice to really bitchy costumers. Fuck you, food service.

There are a million things I could say here, and I may say them later, when I edit this post, when I feel like thinking clearly.

I totally lost my shit last night

broke down and called home in a fit of tears. My mom, told me it was gonna be okay and then sent me on my way.

I feel better sorta. well, better enough to deal with the week.

You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth

Tomorrow, instead of studying for midterms I really really need to do well in, Im going to be running around town fixing things that should have never been broken.

Like being overcharged at the bookstore when I went to go buy books for school and my phone breaking.

I have six midterms this week and its hella stressful and I’ve been crying over things that I cant help and I feel like a lamer for it. and I just want this week to be over.  I’ve been feeling completely numb lately and yet full of all the wrong kinds of emotions.

I want to pretend like none of this ever happened.

RIP Aaron.

There isn’t anything I can say to express the feeling.

There isn’t anything to say that hasn’t already been said.

Honestly, I’d give anything to be with you right now.

I’m having a good time can’t you tell?

I’ve been thinking alot lately, about Orion. My older brother met Orion when he was six. Orion went to school with my brother, and also lived around the corner from the house my family lived in the longest in Oakland, so he was around a lot. I was two when Orion started becomming a perminent figure in our house.

Orion died from a tumor on his brainstem two weeks after I turned eighteen. Orion was 22.

 I don’t know what caused such sudden and frequent thoughts of Orion, but (and I Dont know how to effectively put this into words) I always think its wierd when I become older then some of my friends got to be. Such wonderful people they were and I never wanted to know what its like to live, or imagine life without Orion or Owen or Brian or Dan and yet, here I am, Im living it. It fucking sucks.