Hometown Glory.

It doesn’t feel like its almost two years ago. The thought crossed my mind last night. It feels like forever ago. It feels like yesterday. It still doesn’t sit.I shouldn’t have started this thought tangent, I dont know where to go with it, how to finish.
I’ve been thinking about my East Bay Friends a lot, read those old entries I wrote when my friend died on old journals and this one, about my life there, in Oakland. I went to hang out with some friends on friday in Oakland and there were some old ghosts that were put to rest. I felt uneasy going there, and felt awesome after I left.
I felt because the cycle was doomed to repeat itself always. I couldn’t see any other way out of it at the time, and when the oppertunity arouse to leave I took it. I wasnt the person I wanted to be and it wasnt looking like I was ever going to change.
But last wednesday, when I was just having bad week after bad week and was really unhappy I wanted to leave, I wanted to just end up in Boston already. Start over with the friends I love over there. But really, is that just how I handle stuff? Do I just leave when things are rough, only to find myself in a not great situation? Is that the kind of person I am? Cause thats kind of ugly, I feel like I need to reevaluate this and me and fight it out untill Im at least done with school.

When we both get carried away

I’ve been really stressed lately and I dont think Im going to do well this semester. ugh. Thats really all I’ve been doing lately, going to school and getting jerked around by my shitty job. Clinging on to the few things that make sence anymore.
I went to Sacramento with my Girl Scout troop and it was alright. I worry about how WINGS is going to turn out, I can’t handle the idea of the buddy system and never getting an oppertunity to be alone for at least alittle bit in two weeks. I also dont really know the people Im going with, and Im to socially handicapped to deal with getting to know them, espically since I’ll never see most of them again after the trip is up. I’m in a predicament.
I went to a few bars with a few friends last night, we wound up where we always do, that spot in Dolores Park where you can see the whole city, except last night we couldnt because is was foggy and misting. So it was basically just us and our 40s and being fracking cold, but it was fun. The most fun I’ve had in awhile.

Turn it up I don’t ever wanna go home.

By the time I showed up to the first bar my friends were already three rounds deep, the first sign that the evening was doomed to be a very blurry one. and it was. It was also a chill night with good friends, most of whom I haven’t seen in awhile, which was kind of the point.

And now its the next day, and my parents are coming into town and I’m exhausted.

Happy Birthday to me.

Just leave us to our own devices.

Im not putting this in paragraphs. sorry. sort of.

 

I went to Sacramento for a student journalism conference and it was a lot of fun, just talking to other student journalists, and just journalists and participating in competitions and workshops and getting to know the people who work on the newspaper i write for. Hanging out with new and newer friends and writing articles during hella long days and later nights. I didnt want to come home. I was kind of bummed comming home from work tonight, but then I was thinking about this summer, and started thinking about the time Stephanie and I threw Owen a birthday party (two weeks after he was found) and how we tried to make him a cake and did…kinda….we didnt put enough greese in the pan and so it came out of the rectangular pan in pieces, so we kind of just pushed the peices togther and put frosting over it. It was ace and I have a feeling that he would have loved it. and that would have been such a fun party. We even had streamers, black and orange ones, and black and orange paper plates and cups and black and orange balloons and most of us got all well dressed because one time Owen said something about how he missed how people used to get dressed up and shins. But I remember applying the frosting to this amazing cake and Steph and I laughing so hard, and how it felt so good because nither of us had in weeks. And I laughed about it tonight on the rest of my walk home. I remember that cake everytime I bake anything now.

So that’s all the cool stuff I’ve been up to and I’m really tired right now, but I got to get some homework done, because friday is my 23rd birthday and quite frankly, I don’t want to do anything school related except go to my journalism class.